January 16, 2021

30 Life Lessons On My 30th Birthday

It was hard to choose just 30! But, I hope these make you laugh or resonate with you. Comment your life lessons to add, or chime in if you relate. I hope you enjoy!

  1. There are people who will hear your side of a story and consider what you have to say, and there are people who will listen to respond. Just don’t engage with the latter. It’s a waste of your energy.
  2. Most of the things the world wants you to do isn’t what will really serve you. Don’t get distracted. Stop watching TV.
  3. There is no competition, except within yourself. Lift others up and be kind. There’s more than enough pie to go around (no matter what kind of pie it is).
  4. You have to try a new food a lot of times before you like it. Then one day you’ll get a random craving for it and the rest is history.
  5. Raising kids is really raising yourself. They will hold up a big mirror that shows you all the things you need to work on, and that’s really hard. Don’t get mad at them for it, they can’t help it. Your kids are your classroom. You think you are teaching them, but they are really teaching you.
  6. People are the same wherever you go.
  7. When you’re in a disempowered place, sometimes you just have to play the game by their rules. It’s okay to let them see you cooperating when you really want to fight and rebel. Be patient.
  8. When you have a bad feeling about something or someone, don’t doubt it. You were given a gut instinct and it’s not silly, so use it. The more you second guess it, the less you’ll trust it. Practice trusting it.
  9. The world’s spiritual teachings can all be boiled down to the same messages. Everything is connected, and there is no “other”. There is no right way and wrong way. The world is not black and white. There are many colors, and they blend.
  10. Believing that others know more or know better than you is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Don’t be so willing to believe everything everyone says. Do your own inner work and find your own answers. Just because someone comes across with a powerful personality does not make their words the Truth.
  11. Words can be beautiful, but they can also be manipulating. Actions are a better measurement of truth and trustworthiness.
  12. Carry pen and paper with you. You’re not going to remember that.
  13. Never take children to a restaurant without something to do, and babies don’t like baby toys.
  14. Drink lots of water and eat lots of plants. These are life-expanding. Everything else is life-diminishing.  
  15. Knowledge and aha moments are only half of the journey. All of the wisdom in the world is nothing if you don’t act on what you’ve learned. You must take action to get where you want to go. Don’t be afraid of the mistakes. That’s how you figure it all out.
  16. Life isn’t knowing what you want and achieving it. Life is figuring out what you don’t want, and saying no to that. Don’t be ashamed to say no to what you don’t want. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
  17. Acceptance from others is not the goal. They don’t even have to understand you. Follow your inner guide, and let what others think pass over and behind you. Don’t carry it.
  18. Feeling good and enjoying life is actually your purpose. Don’t get caught up in the rat race. Don’t miss the opportunity to connect with others. Sit with Grandma in the nursing home for an afternoon. Ooh and aah over every little stick figure your kid draws. Get lunch with your friend. Stop saying the words “I’m too busy”, “I can’t find the time”. Make this a priority. Make relaxing a priority. Make laughter a priority.
  19. Money will always be there when you need it. There will always be more money, you can always make more money. Don’t hoard it and miss out on life because you didn’t want to spend it. It’s really okay.
  20. You have to go through life’s hard lessons to come out on the other side. Don’t take life’s hard lessons away from your kids. Just be there for them as they struggle, support them when they need it, but don’t save them or do it for them. Don’t go around life’s hard lessons on your own path (don’t avoid hard things). Go through. This is truly the best thing you can do. If you don’t go through, you’ll have to do it again (and again and again and again….).
  21. Music is the Great Connector. You don’t even have to speak the same language to connect with someone through music. It’s one of the greatest gifts to mankind. Listen to music every day, don’t forget about its powers to communicate, heal, strengthen, inspire, etc.
  22. There is you, and there is your ego. We are taught from a young age that we are our identity (our name, background, family, characteristics), but that’s really all our ego. Take the time to separate your ego from you, to realize that there is a consciousness behind your thoughts, and explore the infinite.  
  23.  Most things in life are a marathon. When you embark on a new journey, especially when making changes in your life, remember that you are training for a marathon, not a sprint. If you think you’ll be able to do it in a sprint, you’ll be disappointed.
  24. Lower your expectations. When you can’t expect less and you’re let down, just feel your disappointment, and then let it pass behind you. Don’t carry it.
  25. Go with the flow, and let go of your resistance to what is. There is only the present. The past and future don’t exist, and the gifts of life are only found in the present. If you resist the present moment all the time, always waiting for “when life is like this or that”, you’ll miss out on the gifts.
  26. We are born with a thirst for meaning. It’s each individual’s purpose to find their own meaning. Others will try to tell you what your meaning is, they’ll constantly tell you who you are. But you need to go on your own journey. (Read The Alchemist & The Four Agreements.)
  27. In all things, there is a balance of positive and negative. Don’t hate on the shadow side (the parts of yourself you push down), it’s as necessary as the light. And it needs to be accepted and loved.   
  28. Growth is saying yes to the things that scare you. Be afraid, but do it anyway. If you are not growing, you’re decaying.
  29. Everyone is the main character of their own story. You are the creator of your own story. You can change it at any time. What kind of character are you? What kind of story are you writing? Check in on this often, and use an inciting incident to change your story when you are ready for a new chapter.
  30. Don’t take life too seriously. Hang loose. You are not better than anyone else, and no one is better than you.

If you made it to the bottom, you’re awesome. Whatever stage of life you find yourself in today, cheers!

Torey

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  1. Emily B. says:

    What a a story you are writing. These words are powerful….and rich! Happy Birthday, friend.

  2. Tonya says:

    I’m grateful for you, and that you are willing to share your insight, perspective, and talent with the world. You’re a beautiful soul. So much is yet to be discovered and explored, and I hope you take every chance you get to write your story. Xo, Ton